I've spent some time now struggling to understand God, and what it means to follow Christ. In the last few months I've lived in two different worlds. One world, the normal world I've lived in for the last 5 years, where I get up and go to work every day and do a normal job with a bunch of normal people, come back home, watch something normal on TV and then go back to a normal bed. And this new world, the world of this church, where everyone is alive, happy and excited to be living in the glory of God and to know His salvation.
I think it was during Fran's baptism, seeing how happy she was and how alive she looked that I asked myself do I need salvation.
Now, I'd always considered myself a pretty decent bloke. I keep myself out of trouble, after all I'm not in prison or anything. But when I considered my morality, I thought about how much I help other people. When the media tells me there's been a terrible disaster and millions of people are starving to death what do I do to help? Virtually nothing. Maybe I'll get out a bank card and donate a couple of hours wage to make myself feel better, but that's probably only enough to feed a family for one meal of one day. If these people were on my doorstep I'd be doing a lot more to help them out, but because they're hidden behind the facade of a television screen, they are somehow less real. But that's okay, I'm a good person because that's what everybody else in this country does.
This all changed the day I met the Liles, when I found out that normal people, through Christ, can make a difference, and the idea of going to another country to help feed people in body and in spirit really isn't the realm of super human philanthropists. It's something perfectly obtainable by normal human beings.
I came to realise that even by my own standards of morality where I've been content to effectively watch people starve to death in other countries I'm not just a bad person, I'm an evil person. And if I am evil by my own standards, how could I possibly believe that I am able to cast the first stone in God's eyes?
It was only after coming to this conclusion that I realised that I need Jesus as my Saviour, and I must accept him in my life if I want anything but eternal damnation.